Last Night (roomate)

So last night me and Jimmy went to a party. The night started out with us kicking fire at each other and setting a couch on fire. We were surrounded by a bunch of hillbillies, (spellcheck is suggesting that I meant to say stillbirth instead of hillbillys), and women that obviously loved cake way too much. Once we were drunk the night for me went downhill quickly. Jimmy decided to push my head against a chair until the chair snapped in half. He then pulled a parking sign out of the ground and proceeded to beat me with it, which left cuts on my arms and face. Jimmy then thought it would be a good idea to have me throw a garbage can at his 300 lb. brother. It was not such a good idea. The beast of a man decided to throw me about 10 feet and almost put me through the house door. I have a gash running down my thigh from when I landed. We then went to the local bowling alley for no reason in a chrysler seabring. The car was so shitty and filled with garbage that it could have been a landfill. There was not enough room for all of us to fit so I took one for the team and got in the trunk. Later on in the night we went back to the party and sat around the fire. Jimmy was throwing logs on the fire while he was shit faced and hit me in the mouth with one of the logs. My mouth filled with blood instantly. I still have a mountain on my lip from where it hit me. Shortly after the log incident the cops pulled up. Jimmy said, "lets get out of here man", so I started walking. Once I got to the sidewalk I realized that fuck Jimmy turned around and ran into the house. So I walked off and into the alley and within seconds I was surrounded by 3 police cars with their spotlights on me. I was breathalyzed and blew a .22, they were impressed. So they gave me a minor consumption charge and I had someone give me a ride home. Today...I hurt like fuck.